New Beginnings

Moving is hard. I already knew that since I've done it so many times, but is seems harder now that I have so little help from my folks.

I owe my parents money I borrowed from them when I started grad school; apparently when you decide to take some time off from school they start wanting their money back. Already owing them money when they aren't doing so well keeps them from lending me more...

I just broke up with this really amazing woman because I just couldn't handle my own issues while trying to make a relationship work... she is of course crushed and pissed.

Finding a job is hard, especially in such an economic crisis. I'm trying but apparenlty no one wants to hire a woman with a lot of experience working with kids, a bachelors degree in history and an interest making more than minimum wage...

But I need to stay confident that I will succeed and that the decision to take time off from school was the right choice.

The worst part about moving to fight for equal rights, not just for the queer community but for everyone is people like this... it's like Ralph Nader... just wow.

And now starts a new blog...

I remember the first time that a "marriage definition" prop was on the ballot. I was in high school; my mother was driving me to the store when we drove by a sign that said "yes on 22." I remember asking her what 22 was, she said it defined marriage as only between a man and a woman, prohibiting gay people from getting married. I asked why anyone would want to stop gay people from getting married, she said it was against God and the bible says its a sin. At the moment for the very first time, I understood intolerance. People don't like people just because they are different. It's a horrible moment but yet necessary to grow.

Now 8 years later, I asked my mother the same question, "why do people not want me to get married?" Still the same answer, "because they think its wrong."

8 years ago my mom supported the prop to define marriage between a man and a woman. Now that my mom knows I'm a lesbian, I still think she supported prop 8. So when I called her yesterday, crying from anger and sadness, my mom simply said "it'll change eventually." Not, "it's unfair that people hate you for no reason" or "I'm sorry," just it'll change...eventually.

Yes it will change.

I had planned to move out of California if prop 8 passed. I started looking for jobs on the east coast and Canada. I even looked at grad programs, thinking anything is better than living in a state that hates me. But I've decided to stay and fight. I'm moving from my small college town, that is filled with environmentalists, hippies and progressives to the bay area. If I'm going to live in a state with people who don't think I deserve rights, who yell at me as I walk down the street then I will live in the epicenter of the fight for GLBTQI rights.